How Did This Happen to Me?
by Candace Marie
Summary: Darth Vader's thoughts onboard Death Star II as he becomes finally, Anakin Skywalker, leading up to  his reunion with his loved ones.


How Could This Happen to Me

Song by Simple Plan

A Song about Darth Vader

_I open my eyes  
>I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light.<br>I can't remember how  
>I can't remember why<br>I'm laying here tonight  
>And I can't STAND the pain<br>And I can't make it go away  
>No I can't STAND the pain<em>

Darth Vader looked through the red tint of his mask, and wondered just how and why had he ended up here. He used to be someone so different than the Sith he now was. It had all been for her, and she had betrayed him, hadn't she? He looked at his son, standing at the Emperor's side talking calmly, in her voice and tones, that Senatorial voice she had used, that had had hated because it hid the real her. His son was much more peacful than he had been. He had fought for peace, in fact he still did. How was it that he fought for peace, but used bloodshed and his son fought for was and used peaceful rather than aggressive negotiations. Every moment of his life for the past ninteen years, pained him. When he went to bed, he didn't really sleep, he hadn't slept since she had been in his arms. The physical pain he figured he deserved, but it was the emotional pain of every moment of every day knowing that he had harmed his beloved, that he had killed her, and there was nothing he could ever do to change that. All that was left was his son...was Luke.__

_*CHORUS*  
>How could this happen to me<br>I've made my mistakes  
>got nowhere to run<br>The night goes on as I'm fading away  
>I'm sick of this life<br>I just wanna scream  
>How could this happen to me<em>

Just where had he gone wrong? He had once had a mother who loved him, a wife who adored him, the novelity of his pending fatherhood, he had been a great warrior, a great Jedi Knight of the Order, he had been trusted and respected by many. And now he had only himself. He had no one. There were times he wanted to drop to his knees just as he had on the night the Jedi fell so long ago and scream. "What have I done? How did this happen to me?" He wished he could just turn back time, he could just reverse his decision, he could deter from ever following Palpatine down this twisted path. But it was too late. It was much too late, he would never be anything but a monster.__

_Everybody's screaming  
>I try to make a sound but no one hears me<br>I'm slipping off the edge  
>I'm hanging by a thread<br>I wanna start this over again  
>So I try to hold<br>On to a time when  
>Nothing mattered<br>And I can't explain what happened  
>And I can't erase the things that I've done<br>No I can't_

He could hear his son's words, "I'm a Jedi, like my father before me." And the Emperor's response.

"So be it, Jedi." No! No! He thought, not my son. Not my son. Not our son. He was so good, so pure, like an angel, like her and yet, he had once looked like that, so sure and proud. This boy was so very very good and if he came from him..could he be good? After all that he had done? He couldn't erase the mistakes that he had made, the attack on the Jedi Temple, the murder of Count Dooku, the Tuskans, and the subsequential murder of the Sepratists leaders as well as the many assassinations Palpatine had sent him on over the years. He couldn't explain any of it, but he knew that he couldn't let his son die. He could not lose anyone else that he held dear, no matter what the costs, his son would live. He turned around more swiftly than he had moved in a long time, and in that moment, Darth Vader faded away and Anakin Skywalker took his place.__

_*CHORUS*  
>How could this happen to me<br>I've made my mistakes  
>got nowhere to run<br>The night goes on as I'm fading away  
>I'm sick of this life<br>I just wanna scream  
>How could this happen to me<em>

He knew of the things he had once done, saving Obi-Wan's life, instructing Snips that it was alright to remain neutral, not everyone had to choose a side. And he did scream, after a lifetime of subduing everything he was as he grabbed the Emperor even as he felt the lightning coursing through what was left of his body he screamed out as he watched making sure the Emperor was dead, before he collapsed on the floor of the Emperor's Terror weapon, one he had never cared for at all. "Luke, help me take my mask off. Just for once, let me look at you with my own eyes.__

_I've made my mistakes  
>got nowhere to run<br>The night goes on as I'm fading away  
>I'm sick of this life<br>I just wanna scream  
>How could this happen to me<em>

Luke knelt by his side, helping him out of the monsterpusity that Palpatine had created, had molded him into. He looked into his son's blue eyes and reached a gloved hand up, a hand that didn't seem to belong to him, to Anakin Skywalker, although for nearly all his life the right arm had been mechanical.

"Luke, we are not this crude matter, we are illumionious beings," he explained, trying to offer his son some lasting wisdom, something good to tell the galaxy of Anakin Skywalker once more. "You were right, tell...your sister. You were right about me," his eyes glazed over as tears spilled from his eyes. When had the last time he had cried been? He couldn't remember, oh yes, when he had murdered the Sepratist Leaders, he hadn't believed he could cry anymore. He heard the crashing around him, and he tried pushing Luke away. "You must leave."

"But I've got to save you. I won't leave you, not when I've just got you back." He heard the fear in the boy's voice, so much like him his son was. He took the opportunity to look at the chestnut color of his hair, like hers, he had already known that Luke hadn't gained his heighth.

"You already have, Luke, you already have. Tell them what became of Anakin Skywalker."

"You didn't want them to know?" he asked.

"I was once a symbol of hope. I didn't want to take that from the galaxy, but they should know. They should know. Obi...Wan." Luke looked over his shoulder but he didn't see him. "Sorry, I am, old friend," he stated, his voice lower and lower.

"Stubborn, like his father."

"You've come for me then."

"It's time, Anakin, you have completed your destiny." Anakin nodded and gathering up the Force he hurled his son into an escape pod as he stood up and watched as the armor of Vader was pulled with his son, he watched as the armor was empty.

"So that's how you did it. It confounded me for the longest time."

"I know."

"Obi-Wan, Master, I AM sorry."

"I know...if you weren't you wouldn't be here. There's somone waiting who wants to see you."

"How can I face her?" he asked looking down at his hands...his very real hands, and as he noticed that he realized his legs were real for he was towering over his former master. He walked along with his former mentor through the stars and the space until he met a familiar pair of chocolate eyes.

"Ani, oh Ani," she said throwing herself in his arms as her lips sought his. He didn't feel worthy even as he responded to her seeking lips. "I knew there was good in you."

"I didn't."

"Oh Ani, you did. You may not have acknowledged it, but you did. It was why you saved Luke from Xizor.."

"Maybe," he replied, not very convincingly. "Your mother's here too."

"Mom?"

"My son. My son. You did it, you brought hope to those who had none." Anakin thought back to the Sith Code. And the Force shall set me free. The dark side brought bondage, it was the light that brought freedom and peace, and he would never be alone again, he would always be surrounded by loved ones. His mistakes were gone. Now he wondered How did this happen to me? How did I get so lucky to be forgiven by them all?_  
><em>


End file.
